Letter from 3/3/2014
Our investigators are doing alright, but I don't think I will be seeing a baptism here. I do get upset at times, but it's okay. I have seen the change in myself this transfer and I am proud. I don't know what happened with Ricky. I haven't heard from him but I'm gonna try to find out what happened. However, I did read about Lexi and that is a miracle.
Things have been going down again. We have lost our teaching pool again, I almost got jumped the other day and a guy threatened to shoot me. The mission has been very hard for me lately. Don't worry I am totally fine. I have just been losing some wind in my sails lately. The Lord has tested my mettle and I have come to a point where I have almost wanted to throw in the towel. The lack of support from the branch has been very difficult and I have not seen much success come from our labor here. We rarely get lessons and the door keeps slamming in our faces. For the first time in my mission I have felt a deep desire for home... I have had many sleepless nights. Every day is exhausting and I was brought down and low and was considering to take that ticket flight home. But then I thought to myself, "No, that would be too easy." Last Tuesday night, I was on my knees and crying out to the Lord for strength. Just needed something to tell me to push on. Mom, Dad, Benjamin, and everyone else that is following this page, I have a testimony that God speaks to his children and will always speak to them. At the lowest moment I have ever felt in my mission, I heard in my thoughts, "Son, be still. Think upon your success. Keep going. It's worth it. I do care." I remember the less active families I have brought back, my newest friend that I have come to love as family (my companion Elder Ruiz), and best of all, the change in myself. I have become more converted to the gospel of Jesus Christ.
What really struck me the other day was when, during personal study, I received a pretty insightful revelation about my mission. I thought about my purpose and pondered on the many reasons why I am here. Also, I read through my Preach My Gospel and my companion and I had probably the best companionship study we have ever had. My reason for a mission is to become closer to Christ. To push myself, mold myself, to go above and beyond the Call of Duty and becoming more and more a disciple of Jesus Christ. The Lord doesn't necessarily NEED us to help baptize his children. We grow and we learn to be more like Christ as we serve and lose ourselves in the work. This is basically my test. If we don't learn it on the mission, we learn it in life. I know very well that I need to lose myself in the work. I always have and always will. Right now, this is just a hump I need to get over. I will admit that my mission is not the "Best Two Years" [right now], but it is the 'Best Two Years' FOR my life. I love the people I serve. I love my companions. I love being called to serve. My testimony has increased.